I woke up this morning early, around 7.30 - as I try to make it one of my habits.
I had my breakfast musli with plazma ^_^ - and a cup of coffee. And I'm liking it. I like the routine in the morning, instead of rushed sequence of events that only lead to forgetting something. And it makes your day muuuch longer !
Honestly, it's not that I don't forget anything this way - it's kind of in my nature to forget.... :/ not just bad, but also good :(.
When it comes to that nature - i'm not sure whether is it good or bad !!!?
Because, I don't only forget to bring things - but also deeds done to me and for me. I'm led by the thought that if you do good, good will come back to you ? Is that that naive ?! Should you remember and pay back equally when someone hurts you and when they 'benefit' you?
Because, I know I'm not the only one who forgets - the whole world forgets, and for that reason we have a screwed world.
Come on ! Let's be realistic ! How many of us choose not to something for someone because of pure jealousy of the outcome of the situation. Is it so hard to see other people well off?
In the past I was all about helping, no matter what - if you ask something, I will try every possible way to help you get this or that. However, in the more recent past I have learned that not everyone deserve my help. Ok, call me selfish or whatever, but when you do that something for someone you do expect something in return?! If it wasn't out of my way to help you, and now it's also on your way to help me, why not ?! Or, at least just make an effort to her you out and say yes or no - and not spin you around.
If I begin the question of Friendship... o dios mio.. :S how deep can i go... But only this - isn't a friend someone you can count on always, when you need him/her in any way possible and the other way around? Unfortunately, the world we live in contains the material - and not only spiritual. Good and the bad. To listen, to advise, to laugh with, to consult, lend certain material objects as well - this is all ok among friends? isn't it?
But when do you draw the line ? How to categorize friends? "Hmm, ok you are my best friend - you get this this and this. And you, over there: you are my good friend - so that, this and that. And you I just met, so screw you - you don't get anything until you reach a higher status." ???! Is this how this works???
Why can we live in a community where we are open for each other - not only when we need something but also when others need something we might be able to offer ! Why is it so hard to give ??! This question is referred to everyone, including myself - because I can't say I'm perfect what so ever ! No way ! I have felt that cramp in my guts when it comes to giving. But there was cases when I fought it, and still gave.
The naked truth is - I don't have a problem to give when I know I will get back. But when I bluntly am denied without any thought what so ever - I'm mad at the person and myself for putting my trust in her. In the end I cannot force anybody to give. And it's true, nobody guarantees you will get anything back I guess... It's just the matter of your luck and the circumstances. The sooner we accept it the better, hm ?
Eternal questions, i guess never to be answered. But what we can do is to dream that unconditional giving exists ! It would make this world a whole lot better!
Because I want to share with you. It crossed my mind - and I guess it was time for my first post. I guess a lot in this text :). But it's my text - i can guess as much as I want ! Ha ! And it feels great !
Freedom and independence are two miracles which one should not give up under any circumstances!!!
“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde
I find this sentence mind-blowing ! I'll write why another time!
